1001.31 LIFE GETS IN THE WAY

I've found it difficult to write this post, not because of the subject matter, that's the usual drivel I deliver. No, it's been difficult because I've found it hard to put aside any time recently, even minutes have been difficult to spare of late. Morticia has been ill, kids have been kids and work has been riddlied with politics. It seems that everyone wants a piece of me despite the actions I've tried to implement over the last few months.

I need time for me, alone. I'm never completely alone and I've always got a task at hand. Cycling has always been an escape but I need more, I did want to push it to the next level but with no way of funding a new ride (work's Cycle to Work scheme seems to be tied up in upper management wrangling) I can't see me pushing past extended commutes. I also got my Unlimited cinema card so I could escape. It's just not happening, I can never seem to get free from the demands on my time.

I realise that this is a rant but I need to get this off my chest otherwise I'll never get the perspective to bring this blog back on track. It is true what they say...

Life gets in the way of living.

0912.10 PRE-CHRISTMAS DO

Tonight sees the annual office Christmas party, this year a more formal affair than previous years. My suit is ready, Morticia has a nice spangly dress and babysitting is organised. The only issue is it's a school night so whilst everyone else will be getting hammered, I'll be on pop.

0911.22 WHERE IS THE CAPTAIN?

I haven't drawn any new pics of my little friend 'The Captain', my digital alter-ego. To be honest I haven't been in the best frame of mind to do anything, especially like drawing. Don't worry, I'll kick myself up the arse and sort something, hopefully by next weekend.

I'm off to work shortly, I just love working Sundays, not!

0911.08 DEMONS

So, British Summer Time is over. The nights are longer and colder and traditionally we get busier at work.

I went back to work after a week off with the Swine flu. In hindsight I went back way too early (there was no way I was fit enough). I went back because I knew there was a staff shortage and I thought it was the right thing to do. I was wrong. Whilst I was off one of my colleagues was given the job of acting as supervisor for the team (a job I've been doing on and off for the last few months). Now I don't begrudge anyone the opportunity but this was a long term opportunity. You could say I'm 'pig sick'.

Since returning I have felt isolated, outside the loop and generally out of touch. I know that many factors in my life a causing me to feel this way it's not all work.

Home is proving to be difficult for me and I have a general feeling that I am not coping with things. Perhaps my weekend state has affected me far greater than I anticipated and my demons (that I usually keep at bay) are surfacing.

Whatever is making me feel this way I know I must get a grip on it all before I cause further problems for myself. Time will tell.

0910.25 WEEK OF HELL

It all started with me going back to work. I was really still too ill to go back but knowing that we have been understaffed I went back in anyway. Did I get thanks? Did I hell. There was a nasty atmosphere within the team and to top it I was refused leave for this weekend. I was not a happy bunny. I spent most of the week in a foul mood and did my best to keep out of everyone's way.

I was pushed hard despite telling my supervisor that I was needing to take it easy, I felt they were taking the piss. I needed to vent but had no outlet although I did have a private moment where I kicked the shit out of my locker (although the locker being made of metal won).

On appeal I did get my leave granted so at least I had this weekend which we had planned to drive to Morticia's mothers.
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So Friday night we set off (as we have done loads before) to visit Morticia's mother in St Neots. It's a tedious 125 mile drive down the A1 and to top it I'm not a big fan of night driving (although I enjoy early morning journeys).

The journey was going pretty well until we reached the A14 where the A1 closed (roadworks). I followed the diversion signs until they just vanished. We ended up at the border of Cambridge before I pulled over to check in we Google Maps. I plotted a route (which involved a certain amount of back tracking) and ended up getting to our destination about an hour late.

I'd like to thank the Highways Agency for pissing me off and wasting my time and petrol. Knobheads!

0910.19 BACK TO WORK

As I write this first paragraph I'm sat on a bus travelling to work. I'm not quite ready for my cycle just yet, I'm taking it one step at a time. I'm pretty keen to get back to work however I feel a little apprehensive to what awaits me. I've heard some rumours about certain staff being shipped out of the team for a transgression and other tit-bits. I'm not a fan of office politics an fear that there will be something of an atmosphere on my return.

0904.04 BED AND WORK

Life weighs heavily on me at the moment. Loads of pressure on the home front and changes at work. My life seems to consist of bed and work at the moment. The bit in between, the cycling between the two sites is the only thing that is holding me together. I yern for more but cannot see an end to this loop at the moment.

True things are better in some respects than they used to be back in the days I worked horrible shifts and was constantly tired. So maybe progress is slow and someday I'll find myself with more time for me. Until then I'll keep sleeping, cycling and working.

0903.31 HOW TO SUCK EGGS

I get to go on a number of training courses in my job. They cover a wide variety from driving to mental heath. Sometimes I get put forward for a course that I think is "right up my street". Yesterday I attended such a course. It was a trainers course to enable to deliver training to my colleagues on the forthcoming upgrade to Microsoft Office 2007 (yes I know we're behind the rest of the world, we just feel lucky that we are moving into the 21st century). Boy was I wrong! It ended up being a bit of an 'Office for beginners' course and because of this I ended up sat around waiting for the others (all of whom I assumed had been chosen because of their IT skills - wrong).

It was a long day which seem to just go on and on, I left the training centre with a nasty headache. I learned nothing I couldn't have picked up in 5 minutes tinkering with the things. To clear my head and to keep my mileage up I went an cycled home via Scholes village, it was a much more gruelling ride than my usual commute and got all the frustration out of my system.

0903.08 BAD TO WORSE

It's only Monday and I'm having a bad week already.

My eldest daughter has been playing up and behaving like Jekill and Hyde for the last couple of days. It's like walking across broken glass with her at the moment. I'd love to know why she is being like this but I don't think even she knows. I can't remember growing up ever being that bad.

Work is a bit crap at the moment (it gets that way from time to time), office politics and new work practices are just pissing me off at the moment.

Usually, to de-stress I can just jump on my bike and go for a ride. I get time to myself and the whole experience just calms me. Unfortunately, I discovered this morning (whilst attempting to get to work) that the chain is slipping. So it looks like I'll be needing a new rear cassette (which I'll fit myself this time).

That'll be another week on the peasant wagon!

0902.23 SUNDAY NIGHT @ WORK

I hate the idea of working Sundays and if you'd asked me this time yesterday I'd have said that I hate working Sundays full stop. I think this stems from my time working on the buses when Sunday evening were the most boring shifts ever. Last night, however, was exceptionally busy at work. I fact I've generated enough paperwork to keep me busy for the first 2 hours of my shift today. So maybe when I say that I hate working on a Sunday it's just the thought of leaving my family at home.

Getting home last night was another matter all together. I checked the bus timetables and there was a 45 minute wait for the bus that goes directly home. I'm not one for waiting around so I jumped on a tram to Meadowhall. At Meadowhall I checked departure up home, 32 minutes wait (just 3 minutes earlier than the bus I could have caught from Sheffield). I ended up walking the last couple of miles.

0901.01 NEW YEAR

While the previous year is still fresh in my mind (and without looking back through my posts) I thought I'd look back over what has happened in my hum drum little life.

The biggest deal this year has probably been the lack of recovery of my Morticia from her illness (which is once again becoming a big mystery). It's probably the hardest challenge I've ever faced. Luckily I've got a fairly decent support network and a supportive employer. I've got bigger challenges to face with this coming year.

Work's still good, the buses seems so far in the distant past now. I've done some good work and have respect from my bosses and colleagues and have good friends. I've pushed for advancement and I'm confident that I'm going to push the envelope this year.

I upgraded my mobile late in 2007 from a Nokia N80 to an LG Viewty. It became apparent that me and the upgrade were not getting on. I made a decision to ditch the LG (which I ended up giving to my daughter) and go back to my N80. Since going back I've dropped it down a toilet and into a glass of beer. Both times the device has survived. It is proving to be the best phone I've ever owned. This year I'll be upgrading again, I can't see me straying far from the Nokia store.

2008 is probably the year of Facebook. I'm certainly not going to complain, so far I've managed to get back in touch with so many old friends, old school friends, work colleagues, people from my past who I thought were long forgotten. My Twitter usage has also gone through the roof with the help of mobile internet.

Probably the highlight of my year was my trip to Wales. I love the place, it's become an annual pilgrimage. I'll be back again this year.

The biggest deal for me this year has been my cycling. I've cycled for years, 2007 I was lucky enough to get paid for cycling, something that has continued in 2008. Last year I moved my personal cycling up a notch with my purchase of my new bike. Altogether I've spent over £800 on my hobby. Not a lot in some cyclists' eyes (some indeed may sneer) but on my budget it's quite a sum. Next year they'll be more of the same, cycling is time for me, something I can't get doing anything else.

We also said goodbye to the Tinsley Towers...RIP.

2008 has been a difficult year. Increasing prices and family issues have made it hard going. I have high hopes for 2009, I have a good feeling about this one, it's going to be a good year...

...HAPPY 2009 to all my friends, family and followers!

Things to look forward too: More cycling, holiday in Wales, Our 10th wedding anniversary, the new Star Trek movie. Finally, do I have any resolutions? Haven't thought of anything specific but I'll be going through and updating my 40 b4 40 very soon.